Moving with children, pets and older relatives

Make a plan for each child, each animal and each older relative in the move: what to tell them, who has them on moving day, and the records and rules each one needs.

Children: telling them, giving them a part, keeping routines Understand

The three pediatric and family sources we read agree on more than they disagree. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), KidsHealth (the children's-health publisher of the Nemours health system) and Military OneSource (the Department of Defense's family-support service) each say to tell children early, give them a part in the move, and keep the parts of daily life that can stay the same (AACAP, Moving: Helping Children Cope; KidsHealth, Preparing Your Child for a Move; Military OneSource, Making the Move Easier for Military-Connected Children). All three are expert guidance; none cites a study for its steps. Convention

Telling them

Military OneSource says to tell children as soon as possible and give them time to say goodbye. AACAP says to explain why the family is moving. KidsHealth says to keep explanations simple for young children. Our default, from those three: tell each child once the move is decided, say why in words their age can hold, and say what stays the same (the family, the pets, their own things). Then answer the questions as they come, which is often days later. This manual's convention

Young children often worry about their things. KidsHealth suggests acting out the move with toy trucks and boxes, and saying plainly that packed toys are going to the new home, not being thrown away. For any age, Military OneSource suggests finding the new home on a map and zooming in, and AACAP suggests maps and photos of the new area.

Giving them a part

A job in the move gives a child something to do with the change besides wait for it. The sources name several:

• Packing their own things. Military OneSource says younger children can pack their own belongings or a first-day box: a box of the things they want first at the new home, opened before anything else. Older children and teens can help pack household goods.
• Their room. AACAP suggests letting children help design or furnish their new room.
• Research. Military OneSource suggests teens look up the new schools and activities. AACAP suggests joining activities in the new area after the move.
• Goodbyes and staying in touch. AACAP says to help children keep in touch with old friends. Military OneSource suggests taking something from a favorite place to the new home, then finding a new "special place" there.

Write each child's job on the people and pets checklist with a date.

Keeping routines

KidsHealth says to keep meal and bedtime schedules after moving day, and Military OneSource says to keep routines for children of all ages. On the run sheet that means two concrete things: who feeds the children and puts them to bed on moving day and the nights in between, and where they sleep if the beds are on a truck. KidsHealth also says to get a child's room in order before the rest of the house; the order is in Unpacking in order.

KidsHealth adds one thing about timing: if the family has recently been through a divorce or a death, consider postponing a move if that is possible. Many moves come with a date someone else set, and the source frames this as a consideration, not a rule.

By age

The table below gives each age group's practical points as the sources state them. Where AACAP and KidsHealth disagree about which ages find a move hardest, the two views are under Go deeper below; neither changes what to do.

The crib and the toilet training point is one of the few concrete "don'ts" in the sources: keep a toddler's sleep and toilet routine as it is until the family has settled. If the crib rides on the truck and the family spends nights elsewhere, plan where the child sleeps in between.

How long settling in takes. KidsHealth reports that teachers expect a new student to feel somewhat comfortable in class in about six weeks, and that some children take less time and some more. That is one publisher's report of teachers' rough expectation. We found no study that measures it, so treat it as a rough marker, not a deadline. Convention

School records and the new school

Under FERPA, the federal student-records law, a school may send a student's records to a school where the student seeks or intends to enroll, without the parent's consent (34 CFR 99.31(a)(2)). The sending school gives the parent a copy on request (34 CFR 99.34). The Department of Education's parent guide adds that the records can include academic and disciplinary information, that a parent does not have a FERPA right to stop the transfer, and that the rights pass to the student at 18 or on entering college (US Department of Education, A Parent Guide to FERPA (PDF)).

FERPA sets no deadline for a school-to-school transfer; that is state law. Texas is one example: when a district asks for a new student's records, the old Texas district sends them by the 10th working day, the parent provides proof of identity and the prior school's records within 30 days of enrollment, and a parent may hand-carry an unofficial copy in the meantime (Texas Education Code 25.002). Your new district's enrollment page lists what it needs; ask the old school how it sends records and ask for your own copy. Ask the authority

Three things to carry, not pack: the latest report card or transcript, the birth certificate, and immunization records. KidsHealth names the first two and medical records; Texas names identity, prior records and immunizations as its example. If a child has an individualized education program or a health plan at school, ask the old school for a copy of it too. The address side of school and health changes is in Changing your address.

Timing. KidsHealth notes that experts disagree about moving in summer or midyear, and it does not settle the question; neither do we. It is the family's call, often made by a job or a lease. Write the new school's first day and the old school's last day on the move calendar. Preference

Pets: moving day, ID and the destination state's rules

For a pet, a move has three risks the household can plan for: an open door on moving day, the trip, and arriving in a state whose entry rules were not met. Then there is settling in. The sources here are animal-welfare groups and veterinary bodies, plus the state agencies that set entry rules. Convention

Moving day: a closed room, a crate or somewhere else

With doors propped open for hours and strangers carrying furniture, a pet can slip out. ASPCA says to keep the pet in a quiet room with the door shut, or at a friend's house, while the truck is loaded (ASPCA, Moving With Your Pet). American Humane says to secure pets in a closed room or crate before the movers arrive (American Humane, How to Move with Your Pet). Cats Protection, a UK cat charity, adds two details: put a sign on the door, and tell the crew which room the cat is in (Cats Protection, Moving house (PDF)).

So the moving-day plan is one of three, written on the run sheet with a name: a closed room (a bathroom works) with water, a litter box or bed, and a sign on the door; a crate in a quiet room; or a day at a friend's house or a boarding kennel. Before the move, ASPCA suggests bringing boxes in early so the pet gets used to them, and packing the pet's familiar room last. The same plan goes for children: a sitter or a relative, named, with a phone number, as KidsHealth suggests for young children. The run sheet is in Moving day.

The trip

The car setup, the heat figures and the rest-stop habit are in Moving day. Two points belong here. American Humane suggests a veterinarian visit two to three weeks ahead for a pet prone to car sickness or anxiety; a long drive is the reason to make it. And the American Veterinary Medical Association's travel list says what rides with the pet: proof of rabies vaccination and other records, any health certificate, the collar, tags and microchip papers, a recent photo, leash, kennel, enough food for the trip, water and all medications (AVMA, Traveling with your dog or cat).

ID tags and the microchip registry

A microchip is a small implant that holds only an identification number of 9, 10 or 15 digits. It is not a GPS tracker. A shelter or a vet who scans a found pet reads the number and looks up the registry where the owner's contact details are kept (AVMA, Microchipping: FAQs for pet owners). After a move, those details are out of date until you change them.

• The tag first. AVMA says "nothing replaces a collar with up-to-date identification tags." A tag with your phone number works before the address is settled.
• Find the registry. AVMA says the US has no single, central microchip database. AAHA's lookup tool shows which registry holds a chip number (AAHA Pet Microchip Registry Lookup). It does not show or change owner details.
• Update with that registry. Cats Protection puts it plainly: the record does not update itself. Write the registry's name and the date you updated it on the people and pets checklist.

If a pet does get out, American Humane says to contact the shelters and animal control offices at both ends of the move.

Entry rules: the destination state's, not USDA's

For a pet moving with its owner from one state to another, the rules belong to the state you are moving to. USDA's Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) says it does not regulate pets moving between states with their owners; the receiving state or territory sets the requirements, which can include a health certificate, vaccinations, tests or treatments. Its state-to-state page links each state's official page (APHIS, Take a Pet From One U.S. State or Territory to Another). APHIS says to contact your veterinarian as soon as you know your travel details. Ask the authority

A certificate of veterinary inspection (CVI), often called a health certificate, is a form a veterinarian signs after examining the animal. AVMA notes that it has to be signed by a federally accredited veterinarian, and not every veterinarian is accredited, so ask when you book. Four states show how far apart the rules are:

New World screwworm is a fly whose larvae feed on living tissue; Hawaii's page dates its detection in the United States to June 3, 2026. Colorado's and Hawaii's rows changed because of it within the last five months, which is the reason to read your destination state's page yourself, close to the move, and write the date you read it.

Flying. Airlines set their own requirements. Humane World for Animals says most airlines require a health certificate, typically issued within 10 days of travel, and Texas's page says the same, seven to ten days (Humane World for Animals, Travel safely with your pet). Ask the airline before you book.

Settling in

Before a pet explores the new home, ASPCA suggests a pet-proofing pass: tuck away cords, block nooks a small animal could hide in, check that window screens are secure, remove poisonous houseplants, and look for pest-control bait or traps a previous occupant left. Then set up one home-base room with the pet's bed, food, water, toys and litter box, and open the rest of the home gradually. ASPCA suggests moving a litter box toward its final spot gradually, about a foot a day. Convention

How long settling takes varies. American Humane says a few days to a few weeks, and that cats often take longer than dogs. For cats that go outdoors, Cats Protection advises keeping the cat indoors for at least three weeks after the move, because some cats let out too soon go missing or try to return to the old home. That three-week figure is a UK charity's rule of thumb, written for an audience whose cats often go outside; it cites no study. For an indoor-only cat, the point that carries over is the escape risk while doors are open. One charity's rule of thumb

A dog that copes with being left alone at the old home may not at the new one. Learn Dog Training covers alone-time distress after a move, including new-home sounds, in Crate, pen and alone time.

When to call a veterinarian. Before the move: when the destination state or an airline needs a certificate, a vaccination or a test; when a pet gets car sick or anxious on drives; when medications need refilling for the trip. After the move: when a pet's eating, drinking, toileting or behavior changes and does not settle, or when something looks like illness or injury. That list is ours; it names when to ask, not what is wrong. Ask the authority

Older relatives: pacing, measuring and the new home's rules

When an older relative moves, often to a smaller home, the work starts weeks before moving day: deciding what goes, in a home full of decades of things. The sources here are AARP, quoting professional organizers and move managers; NASMM, the trade association for move managers; and federal agencies for the health and care-setting questions. Decisions about where a relative lives and what happens to family property belong to the relative and the family. This section lists the questions and the practical steps. Ask the authority

Sorting in short sessions

AARP's 2019 article on downsizing quotes one psychiatrist's plain statement that downsizing has not been formally studied (AARP, How to Cope With Downsizing Your Home). What exists is practitioner advice, and it is consistent:

• Start with the least emotional areas. AARP's 2019 article says so and notes that a kitchen can be "a well of emotions." Its 2026 article quotes an organizer: do not start with photographs, collections or mementos (AARP, Use These Tips to Declutter Your Home Before Moving).
• Finish one room before starting the next (the 2026 article, quoting the same organizer).
• Keep sessions short. NASMM's guide reprints one move manager's estimate that most older adults can work on an organizing task for about three hours a day (NASMM, Guide to Rightsizing and Relocation (PDF)). It is one practitioner's figure, undated. Use it as a starting length and adjust to the person.
• Bring a helper. AARP's 2019 article suggests a family member, friend or professional, because they are more objective.
• Ask before keeping things for others. AARP's 2026 article says to ask children and grandchildren before saving heirlooms for them; they often want small things.

Put the sessions on the move calendar as dated rows, room by room, starting weeks before the move. NASMM's guide says to ask for help early, "weeks to months" ahead. How to record each decision (move, give to family, sell, donate) is in Your inventory.

Measuring the new home

AARP's 2026 article says to get a floor plan from the agent or building manager, measure the sofa, bed and tables, and compare them with the new home's doorways, hallways, staircases and elevators. It quotes NASMM's board president that the same measuring can show a walker or wheelchair will not pass through a space. So measure for both: the furniture that has to fit, and the clear path the relative needs to move through the rooms with it in place. Test it

Learn Space Planning teaches the measuring in How to measure a room and draw a floor plan to scale and How to measure furniture and the space it needs in use. The plan settles which furniture goes; the inventory records it.

Anchor what can tip. CPSC staff counted people 60 and older as 24 percent of emergency-treated tip-over injuries (an annual average of 4,200, 2020 to 2022) and 26 percent of tip-over deaths (56 of 217, from 2013 to July 2023), with the counts including nursing homes and assisted living (CPSC, Tip-Over Report 2023 (PDF)). Children are the larger share. Anchoring dressers, bookcases and TVs as they are placed is in Unpacking in order.

The new home's rules, and a move manager

Apartment buildings and senior communities often set move-in rules: which days moves are allowed, an elevator reservation, and a certificate of insurance from the mover. Ask for the rules in writing as soon as the date is set, put each on the run sheet, and give the mover the community's contact so the certificate can be sent ahead. Whether an in-state mover is licensed is checked with the state's regulator, in Hiring a mover. Ask the authority

A move manager (NASMM's members call themselves senior move managers) is a paid helper who can plan the move, run sorting sessions, draw floor plans, arrange sales and donations, oversee the movers, and unpack and set up. NASMM says some are also movers and others work with a local moving company; fees are hourly or a package price; and its members give a written estimate before payment (NASMM, FAQs). Its consumer guide lists questions to ask one, including years in business, training, whether they are "fully insured for liability and workers' compensation," how they charge, and whether they use a written contract. We found no regulator that licenses move managers; a move manager who also transports goods follows the mover rules. Where a move manager fits among the other services is in Moving services compared.

Health plans, prescriptions and local help

Medicare plans. A person in a Medicare Advantage or Medicare drug plan who moves out of the plan's service area, or moves within it to where new plan options exist, can switch plans. Medicare says the chance to switch begins when you move and continues for 2 full months after; if you tell the plan before the move, it starts the month before. If the person moves out of the area and does not choose a new plan, they are enrolled in Original Medicare when the old plan drops them (Medicare, Special Enrollment Periods). Ask the plan whether the new address is in its service area, and write the answer and the date on the people and pets checklist. Other address changes for health coverage are in Changing your address. Ask the authority

Prescriptions. Refill before the move and carry the medicines, not pack them (Moving day). If the relative will change doctors or pharmacies, ask the current ones how to transfer prescriptions and records.

Local help. The Eldercare Locator, a public service of the federal Administration for Community Living, connects people to local agencies on aging by phone (1-800-677-1116, call or text), chat or email (Eldercare Locator). It is a place to ask about local services near the new home.

Feelings, and when to call

Pages about moving often call it one of the most stressful things a family does, usually without a source. The best-known measure gives a more modest picture. The Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale, published in 1967, asked 394 people to rate 43 life events. On it, a change in residence scores 20 points, against 100 for the death of a spouse and 73 for divorce (BCcampus OpenText, Life Changes as Stressors; the original is Holmes and Rahe, 1967, PubMed). A move rarely comes alone, though: a change in living conditions scores 25, a change in schools 20, and a change in social activities 19, and a family move can bring all of them at once. Critics of the scale note that it treats good and bad events alike, ignores how the person sees the event, and shows correlation, not cause. The honest summary: a move is a moderate change that often brings several others with it. Convention

The sources describe the feelings that come with it as ordinary. AARP's 2019 article calls sadness, grief and anxiety about downsizing normal and suggests talking to a friend and, if that does not help, a counselor. NIA says caregivers may feel loss, guilt or relief. AACAP and KidsHealth expect children to resist, miss friends and need time.

When to call

The line between ordinary stress and something that needs help is drawn by the professionals, not by this manual:

• An adult. The National Institute of Mental Health says stress usually eases once the situation is resolved. It suggests talking to a health care provider or mental health professional when symptoms interfere with everyday life, make you avoid things, or seem to be there all the time, or when they will not go away (NIMH, I'm So Stressed Out! Fact Sheet). Its coping list is ordinary: regular meals, a sleep routine, exercise, less caffeine, reaching out to friends.
• A child. AACAP lists warning signs of depression after a move: changes in appetite, withdrawing from others, a drop in grades, irritability and sleep problems. For signs that persist, it says to ask the family doctor or pediatrician for a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
• An older relative. The same NIMH line applies. A change in health, confusion or a fall after the move is a reason to call their doctor.
• A pet. The veterinarian, for the reasons in settling in.

See it: the Brandts and Walter Osei See it

Their people and pets checklist, in part:

At the new house, Biscuit's home-base room is set up with his bed, water and toys before he comes in. Under these assumptions the plan covers each child and the dog on moving day and the nights between; whether Biscuit's entry is in order is potentially settled only when they read the destination state's page and do what it says.

Grace's run sheet for March 11 has the elevator reservation the community confirmed by email, a note that the mover sent its certificate of insurance to the community office, and a line for Pepper: in the closed downstairs bathroom with her litter box, water and bed, and a sign on the door saying "Cat inside, keep closed," with the crew lead told. Pepper rides in her carrier on the back seat in Grace's car after the last load. At the apartment, the bedroom is Pepper's home-base room for the first days, with the door shut while the crew carries things in; the rest of the apartment opens to her gradually. Walter's sorting sessions are dated rows on the move calendar. Grace notes one thing to watch: if Walter's sleep or appetite changes and does not settle in the weeks after the move, she will suggest he call his doctor.

• AACAP, Moving: Helping Children Cope: child psychiatrists' advice by age and the warning signs to watch.
• ASPCA, Moving With Your Pet: moving day, the home-base room and pet-proofing.
• APHIS, Take a Pet From One State to Another: the list of each state's official entry page.
• AARP, Use These Tips to Declutter Your Home Before Moving: sorting, floor plans and measuring for a walker.

Practice: a plan for each person and animal Practice

Minimum: on the people and pets checklist, at least one dated step for each child, pet and older relative in the move, and a moving-day row that says who has each of them, where, and until when. Time: about 30 to 45 minutes, plus the conversations and calls the plan names. Materials: the people and pets checklist (or paper), the moving-day sheet, the move calendar, and for pets the destination state's page through APHIS's list.

1. List who is moving. Each child with their age, each animal, and any older relative, on the checklist.
2. Children. For each: when you will tell them (or that you have), their job in the move, their first-day box, and who has them on moving day. For a toddler, a line that says no toilet training or crib switch until after the move. For school-age children, the records request and the new school's first day.
3. Pets. The moving-day plan (closed room with a sign, crate, friend or boarding), the tag and the registry update, the trip (crate or carrier, back seat), and the home-base room. For another state, the destination's entry rule and the date you read it.
4. An older relative. Sorting sessions as dated rows, the measuring, the new home's move-in rules, and the health plan question.
5. Copy moving day to the run sheet. Each name and phone number from the checklist's moving-day rows goes on the contacts sheet.

Your move Your move

Check your work Check your work

Criteria

• Does every child, pet and older relative in the move have at least one dated step on the checklist?
• Does the moving-day row say who has each one, where, until when, with a phone number on the run sheet?
• For each child: told, a job, a first-day box, routines kept? For a toddler: no crib or toilet-training change during the move?
• For each pet: the tag and the registry updated, the trip planned in the passenger area, a home-base room? For another state: the destination's page read and dated?
• For an older relative: sorting sessions dated, the new home measured, its rules in writing, the health plan asked?
• Do you know who you would call, and when, for each person and animal?

Worked example

The Brandts' checklist passes: each child has a job and a moving-day sitter, Leo's crib routine is covered for the nights on the road under their portable-crib assumption, and Biscuit's entry is written as open with the destination state's page as the thing that settles it and a date to read it. It does not say Biscuit's entry is in order; reading the page does. Walter's passes as well: dated sessions, a floor plan with the furniture that fits, the community's three rules on the run sheet, Pepper's room and sign, and the drug plan question with the plan named as the one who answers it.

Common mistakes

• Nobody named for the children or the pets on moving day. Everyone assumes someone else has them. Write one name.
• Reading another family's state rules. Pet entry depends on the destination state, and it changes. Read your destination's page close to the move.
• Updating the tag but not the registry. The registry does not update itself.
• Sorting the hardest room first. Start with the least emotional rooms; leave photographs and mementos for later sessions.
• Measuring furniture but not the path. A walker or wheelchair needs clear width through doors and around the furniture.
• Treating a rule of thumb as a rule. Three weeks indoors and six weeks to settle are one source's figures each.

What is still unresolved

What a pet needs to enter another state is settled by that state's animal health office and your veterinarian. Whether a reaction in a child, an adult or a pet needs care is settled by a pediatrician, a doctor, a mental health professional or a veterinarian. Whether a Medicare plan covers the new address is settled by the plan. Which furniture fits is settled by measuring against the floor plan, with Learn Space Planning's chapters. Where a relative should live and what happens to family property are the family's decisions. Moving-day roles are recorded in Moving day, and the school and health address changes in Changing your address.

Knowledge check and scenario

Checklist

• The people and pets checklist has a plan for each person and animal in the move, with moving day covered.
• Each child has been told and has one job in the move; meals and bedtimes are planned for moving week.
• For each pet: the moving-day room, crate or sitter is named, the tag and microchip registry are updated, and the destination state's rules are read and dated if it is another state.
• For an older relative: the new home is measured, sorting sessions are dated, and the new home's move-in rules are in writing.
• I know when to call a doctor, a pediatrician, a veterinarian or 988.
• I read the two views on which ages find a move hardest and the research on frequent moves. (Go deeper; optional)
• I checked an airline's pet rules or Hawaii's program, if either applies. (Go deeper; optional)